I should sit and blog about our weekend because we had a pretty good time. Farmers market, swimming, redecorating (or decortating for the first time)... but I have something else on my mind.
It really kind of ticks me off when I read posts or blogs or books where people talk about motherhood and say they loved every minute of it.
I don't know why exactly it makes me so upset. Does it make me feel inadequate? Does it make me feel like if I'm not enjoying every second I must be doing something wrong? Does it mean I don't love my kids as much as they do?
I know it's just a figure of speech, but I don't love every minute of being a mom. I love my kids, more than I ever thought I could. But I don't love the moment at 3 in the morning when I wake up to Elsie standing next to my bed saying "Hi Mom. Elsie woke up."
Or when Alice spits up all down my pants for the 12th time that day.
Or when I'm trying to scrub crayon out of the carpet.
Or when I walk into church and realize my shirt is suddenly covered with fresh, warm, baby poop.
Am I not as good as a mom because I can't seem to love those moments?
5 years ago
5 comments:
You are a great mom! The difference between you and the moms that say they love every minute of it is this: you're honest!
Just keep it real, Sweetheart. Love the best parts and learn something from the rest. You're already a better mom than I was. Your children are do blessed to have you. :-)
Uh, I have so many times wanted to say to Will or Lucy: "I'm CHOOSING to be your mom and I can CHOOSE not to be."
Of course, I never will actually say it, but man some hours (days) are completely awful and I'm not sure why I'm doing this.
(Despite all the times I think I'm failing them or motherhood in general I still think I'm the best mom they've got. And I can't truly imagine going away and letting someone else do this job.)
The book: Bad Mother, by Ayelet Waldman really helped me find some peace with that struggle to be the perfect mom and to stop feeling bad when I don't ENJOY all of it. Also the book: The Happiness Project has given me some really great ways to get my head into the joys of things I really don't always like (craft with kids, for example.)
Email if you want to talk more about this. I know EXACTLY what you mean. <3
Sarah! I can totally relate.. I am constantly doubting myself in the mother department.. There are most definitly parts that drive me crazy at times that I just need a break and to get away.. I feel like because I need a break or an hour alone that I am a horrible mom for not being able to 'handle' it like most other moms seem so great at handling everything, all the time..
I guess maybe some of those moms just dont share those crazy moments.. just the good ones..
It's totally a "can't/don't judge a book by its cover" type of things..
I love being a mom, and I love Hyrum but geeze, I need a moment alone here and there!
I think the reason they say that is because its over, they are looking back in time and wouldn't trade it for the world, or all the hard times that came with it! Its best to be real with yourself in the moment though, otherwise it will bottle up and be worse later! I know I don't have kids, but what can I say, I'm a philosopher and like to share my opinion :).
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