I miss my babies

Nursing moms should not have to leave their six week old babies. I've never been away from Alice this long and it's killing me. I know she's being taken care of by people who love her, but it's not me. She's been eating what little I had pumped before and some formula, but Alan said it was a little bit of a struggle to get her to take it. I need my baby with me. I need to be feeding my baby. They gave me a pump here to keep up my supply, but it's not the same, especially when everything I pump gets dumped down the sink. The anesthesiologist told me that the official stance is that I would need to pump and dump for 24 hours, but then he also told me that anything he gave to me he would give to a baby born 24 weeks premature. So it was really up to me what I wanted to do and how soon I could feed my baby. Jeanine brought the girls over before bed time and I decided to give it a try and nurse Alice. I needed to have that close intimate time with her. She was really happy to have it too.

I just got out of my second procedure this morning. Yesterday I had the big surgery where they took the gall bladder out. This morning they had to put me under again and go in with a scope to remove the stones that were stuck in the bile duct. So I should be done with all of the big procedures. Now we just need to go home, but I don't know if they'll let me today. I'm tired, I'm sore, and I have four cuts across my stomach. The surgeon from yesterday came in this morning. He told me that it was good that I had it taken out yesterday because based on the liver function tests I would have been really sick if I had waited even one more day.

I miss my girls. I miss Alan. I miss my apartment. I want to go home.